"Whoosh!"
Lin Chengdong opened his eyes, blew out the candle in front of him, and then excitedly looked at his parents beside him. However, for some reason, his parents did not immediately respond to his excitement; instead, they stared at the extinguished candle, lost in thought. Lin Chengdong was taken aback for a moment, the light in his eyes dimmed significantly, and the excitement was replaced by desolation. He sighed softly and turned to give his parents a hug.
For Lin Chengdong's family, this eighteenth birthday held extraordinary significance: it was not only Lin Chengdong's coming-of-age ceremony but also represented the fragile life that had stubbornly extended beyond the length declared by doctors for another eight years.
Eighteen years ago, Lin Chengdong's father helplessly squatted in the hospital corridor, holding his head in silence, showing no joy of becoming a father for the first time. Relatives surrounded him, some quietly sobbing, others sighing in despair. Just the day before, everyone had been immersed in the joy of a new baby, but merely a day later, they were told that the child's lifespan might not exceed ten years. This young father had never faced such a blow and gradually began to lose hope. He contemplated sending the child to an orphanage several times, but every time he thought of his wife in the delivery room and his child, pure and flawless like jade, his heart ached as if gripped tightly by a large hand. In the following years, he took the child to major hospitals across the country, only to receive repeated shakes of the head from doctors. After hitting a wall time and again, he turned to seeking divine help, kneeling on the cold, hard stone floor of a temple, banging his head in prayer. Perhaps heaven took pity on this suffering family, as the Lin family's child grew safely for ten years without dying prematurely.
On Lin Chengdong's eleventh birthday, his mother held him in her arms, gently rubbing his hair, crying uncontrollably, repeating to him:
"You are the only hope for your father and mother; you must live well."
Lin Chengdong reached out his tender little hand to wipe away his mother's tears, feeling very downcast. This birthday was not as joyful as in previous years; he felt more a sense of loss. Although his parents had always avoided bringing it up, the precocious Lin Chengdong had learned from others that he was different from other children. Although he had no understanding of death at that time, he strongly resisted and rejected the idea of death, a powerful desire to survive rising endlessly in his heart.
After crossing the hurdle of turning ten, Lin Chengdong's health seemed to improve slowly; not only did the frequency of his illnesses decrease significantly, but he also grew taller than his peers. As he grew up, Lin Chengdong became outstanding in appearance, excelled academically, and was polite to others. If it weren't for his illness, he would have been the child every family hoped to have. He passed through elementary school, middle school, and high school smoothly and was admitted to a prestigious university. On the day of his eighteenth birthday, the entire Lin family celebrated as if it were a festival. Perhaps it was hard for outsiders to understand, but for Lin's parents, every day for the past eighteen years had been filled with worry that their son might suddenly disappear. Therefore, Lin Chengdong reaching today was already a miracle they dared not hope for. It seemed that everything was moving in a positive direction, and the Lin family, who had been living in fear, saw a glimmer of hope. Although it was still faint, they were no longer as fearful as before; sometimes, Lin Chengdong even forgot that he was still a sickly body.
In the blink of an eye, Lin Chengdong stepped into the university gates. Before leaving, his mother, with red-rimmed eyes, solemnly handed him a safety talisman. Lin Chengdong dared not speak, feeling a lump in his throat. He quickly exhaled, tightly gripping his mother's talisman, and walked toward the security check.
He had just sat down for a short while when a kind-faced middle-aged man rubbed his hands together and smiled at him:
"Little brother, could you please switch seats with me? I'm too far from my wife and can't take care of her and the baby."
Lin Chengdong turned to glance at the woman beside him holding a child and thought of his mother. He sighed inwardly and readily agreed to the middle-aged man's request.
"Thank you so much, young man, but..." The middle-aged man glanced back at his original seat, "But that little girl over there might be a bit difficult to deal with."
After switching seats, he found himself next to a girl wearing a hat and mask. He intended to ask her to move her leg a bit so he could sit in the aisle seat. However, seeing that she remained completely still, as if asleep, Lin Chengdong was momentarily at a loss, standing there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
"Sir, please return to your seat quickly; our train is about to depart." The attendant's voice rang out, and with no other choice, Lin Chengdong lifted his leg, attempting to step over, looking as comical as a bear balancing on a ball in a circus, causing other passengers on the other side to stifle their laughter.
"If you want to get in, just say so." The girl in the seat suddenly spoke and slightly moved her leg aside.
"Ah, I thought you were asleep; sorry to disturb you." Lin Chengdong sat down with a bit of embarrassment.
"Wooden head." The girl coldly tossed out a remark and said no more. Lin Chengdong was already feeling awkward, and hearing her words made his face turn red, unsure how to respond.
Throughout the journey, Lin Chengdong kept replaying this little episode in his mind, increasingly doubting his actions, fearing he might have upset the girl next to him or even given her the wrong impression.
"I need to find a chance to apologize and explain clearly." Lin Chengdong thought to himself.
At noon, the attendant began selling lunch boxes. As they approached Lin Chengdong's row, he secretly glanced at the girl next to him and noticed she had no intention of eating. After pondering for a moment, he signaled to the attendant that he needed two portions. He took the lunch boxes and placed one on the small table in front of the girl, not caring whether she could hear him, and began to speak to himself:
"I'm really sorry; I was genuinely worried about disturbing your rest, and I had no other intentions. Let me treat you to lunch as an apology."
After speaking, Lin Chengdong lowered his head, pretending to bow. But after half a minute, he heard no response from the girl and felt puzzled. Slowly raising his head to observe her reaction, he found her staring at him intently, her gaze indifferent.
"I'm not angry with you, so you don't need to apologize or treat me to lunch."
Upon hearing this, Lin Chengdong let out a sigh of relief, his body, which had been tense, relaxed significantly. He clenched his fist and extended his hand toward the girl beside him.
"If you're not angry, that's great. Let's be friends; my name is Lin Chengdong."
"Su Mei." The girl turned to glance at Lin Chengdong, giving his hand a light shake, "And just so you know, I only shook your hand out of politeness; I don't want to be friends with you."
Lin Chengdong didn't mind the latter part; he was just reflecting on her name.
"Su Mei, that's quite a nice name."
Meanwhile, Su Mei casually looked at her phone, pretending to type. But only she knew that her face, hidden behind the mask, had already flushed slightly.
"Though a bit foolish, he's quite cute."
When it was time to disembark, Lin Chengdong gentlemanly helped Su Mei retrieve her suitcase, and she merely thanked him. The two did not engage in any further conversation. On the platform, Lin Chengdong watched Su Mei's figure quickly leave, his gaze flickering slightly, feeling a bit regretful that he hadn't said more.
"I wish we could meet again." Lin Chengdong thought as he pulled his suitcase and walked toward the exit.
In the following half day, he completed his enrollment procedures, chatted with his roommates for a while, and then followed the signs to find his classroom for the first class meeting. He chose a seat in the back row and sat quietly, taking out a small leather notebook.
"Another task completed." Lin Chengdong flipped to the last page of the notebook and took out a photo from the pocket, examining it closely.
"Ah, sorry." Suddenly, someone walked past him and knocked his notebook to the ground. He was about to say it was fine when he realized the person in front of him looked very familiar.
"Su, Su Mei?" Lin Chengdong tentatively called out.
"Mm." Su Mei picked up the notebook and placed it in front of him, then coldly replied. At that moment, Su Mei was not wearing a mask, and it was the first time Lin Chengdong saw her face.
"Are you in this class too?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"That's quite a coincidence; I'm in this class as well." Lin Chengdong suddenly realized how silly his words sounded, clearing his throat, "I think you look better without a mask..."
"Can I sit next to you?" Su Mei interrupted him.
"If you don't mind, of course." Lin Chengdong picked up his backpack from the adjacent seat and stood up to let Su Mei in. Although Lin Chengdong had encountered such situations before, for some reason, he felt unusually nervous this time, and as he stood up, his knee bumped heavily against the edge of the table. Lin Chengdong let out a muffled grunt but still managed to maintain a calm facade.
Su Mei said nothing more and sat down next to him, playing with her phone. Lin Chengdong noticed she wasn't paying attention to him and quickly rubbed his sore leg. But at that moment, he felt an uncontrollable joy. He quickly turned his back to Su Mei, fearing she might misunderstand him like this morning.
Meanwhile, Su Mei, gripping her phone tightly, seemed to be venting some emotion.
"Why did this fool turn away?"
...
Time passed quickly, and by the end of the third year, the school was celebrating its anniversary with a summer dance party, inviting students and teachers from various colleges to participate. Those eager to find a partner naturally wouldn't miss this excellent social opportunity. Lin Chengdong initially wasn't interested and, since he couldn't dance, didn't sign up. He planned to return home early to see his parents and began packing his luggage.
"Hey, Lin, you're packing so early; aren't you going to the dance?" his roommate asked in confusion.
"I can't dance; you guys go have fun."
"Ah, that's such a pity; you're so handsome; you don't even need to dance; just standing there will attract girls." His roommate glanced at Lin Chengdong with a knowing look, "Besides, Su Mei might go too; are you sure you don't want to join?"
Lin Chengdong suddenly stopped but quickly resumed packing, "Whether she goes or not has nothing to do with me."
"Stop pretending, Lin; we all know you like her; just be straightforward."
"Really? You all can tell?" Lin Chengdong stammered.
"Of course! Look at what you've done these past few years: bringing her breakfast, umbrellas, preparing birthday gifts, and always choosing to sit near her. Only a fool wouldn't notice." His roommate counted off on his fingers, listing everything Lin Chengdong had done.
Lin Chengdong's thoughts were suddenly exposed, and his face turned red, his focus on packing faltering.
Meanwhile, Su Mei sat on her dorm bed, hugging a doll and tugging at its fur.
"Stop pulling; it'll go bald." Su Mei's friend said irritably.
"Do you think he'll go? If he doesn't, then all my efforts will be in vain."
"Don't worry; guys never miss an opportunity to meet girls. You always say he's a fool, but I think he's not foolish at all; he might be quite clever."
"He's just a fool; even with all my hints, he still hasn't confessed." At this point, Su Mei became a bit angry and threw the doll hard against the wall.
"Then why don't you be more proactive if you like him?"
"I..." Su Mei thought of something, lowered her head, and fell silent.
On the day of the dance, Lin Chengdong put on a suit he hadn't worn in a long time and stood in front of the mirror, carefully tying his tie. He repeated it three times before he was satisfied. Su Mei also put on exquisite makeup and changed into a black lace dress. Both of them harbored secret thoughts, waiting for the other to notice.
...
"Excuse me, can I ask you to dance?" Lin Chengdong was looking around when a girl's voice rang in his ear. He snapped back to reality and politely declined the girl's invitation.
"If you don't want to dance, we can eat something and chat." The girl extended another invitation. Lin Chengdong was about to refuse again but felt it would be impolite, so he agreed. While they were chatting, Su Mei stood not far away, coldly watching them, jealousy bubbling up inside her. She walked straight up to Lin Chengdong, picked up the cup he had left on the table, drank it all in one go, and then walked away.
Lin Chengdong's expression changed slightly, and he quickly excused himself from the girl beside him, chasing after Su Mei.
"Wait for me!" Lin Chengdong grabbed Su Mei's arm and quickly let go, "It's not what you think; that girl invited me to dance at first, and I refused, then she asked if I could..."
"So?" Su Mei stared at Lin Chengdong, her expression indifferent.
"And then I couldn't refuse again, so I chatted with her for a bit, but it was all normal topics, nothing else, and then you came over. I was looking for you the whole time; I was afraid you wouldn't come; I..."
The more Lin Chengdong spoke, the quieter his voice became until it was barely audible.
"Why do you need to tell me what you talked about with her? It has nothing to do with me." Su Mei threw down a sentence and walked toward the grassy area outside.
Lin Chengdong gritted his teeth and quickly followed.
"Why are you following me?" Su Mei's tone was a bit irritated.
"I like you." Lin Chengdong took a deep breath and said to her.
Su Mei suddenly stopped, a hint of panic flashing in her eyes, and pulled him to a secluded spot where no one was around.
"I didn't hear you just now; say it again."
"I said, I like you."
Su Mei fell silent, looking at Lin Chengdong's sincere expression, knowing he wasn't lying. She had waited three years for this sentence, and finally, this thick-headed boy had come to his senses, which excited her. But soon, that excitement was replaced by disappointment. Su Mei calmed herself and looked at Lin Chengdong,
"You shouldn't like me; I have an illness."
"I have an illness too."
"Please, I'm not joking."
"Neither am I."
...
"So, the doctor said you could only live for ten years?" Su Mei asked curiously.
"Yeah, but not only have I lived several more years, but my health is also getting better." Lin Chengdong looked at the people in the square preparing to set off fireworks and said lightly. "So I believe you will get better slowly, just like me."
"But I've had depression for many years; if I could get better, I would have by now. If I can't get better, then I probably won't."
"Let's not talk about that. Actually, I started having feelings for you the day I met you on the high-speed train, but I only dared to tell you today. I guess I'm quite cowardly." Lin Chengdong rubbed his nose, "I thought I was hiding it well, but I didn't expect my roommate to notice long ago."
"You fool, can't you see I'm the same?" Su Mei suddenly smiled, and Lin Chengdong was taken aback, then began to laugh. But after a while, Lin Chengdong suddenly covered his face and started to cry. "I really like you, but I can't be with you; I'm too scared..."
Su Mei was startled by this sudden change, feeling at a loss. She patted Lin Chengdong's trembling shoulder, pulled him into her embrace, and sighed softly.
In the distance, fireworks rose into the sky, illuminating the dark night. Su Mei's face was also lit up by the fireworks, and her clear eyes were filled with loneliness.
After the summer vacation, Su Mei went abroad for an exchange program, while Lin Chengdong stayed at school to prepare for graduate school entrance exams. After that night filled with fireworks, the two did not end up together. Even though Su Mei persisted for a long time, Lin Chengdong did not agree; he knew how dangerous his illness was, so he couldn't drag Su Mei down. Moreover, this experience had already allowed him to fulfill another wish.
...
"I've sent the proposal to your email; remember to check it... Mm, okay, bye." Su Mei hung up the phone, closed her laptop, and stretched. It had been almost three years since she returned to the country, and she had found a decent job in the city where she had previously attended university. Although she didn't believe in fate, a sense of expectation guided her back here. She had contacted Lin Chengdong, but he was still studying for his master's degree in another province, and she was too busy with work to find him. After tidying up her desk and saying goodbye to her colleagues, she left work. Today was Friday, and she didn't rush home, wandering aimlessly and enjoying the rare leisure. Passing by a convenience store near the company, she suddenly thought of buying a bottle of lemon soda. She usually didn't like it, but ever since Lin Chengdong bought her a bottle once and she said it was good, she hadn't stopped drinking lemon soda. Thinking of this, Su Mei couldn't help but feel a bit lost. She quickly found the soda she wanted and was about to check out when a figure walked in that she would never forget.
"When did you come? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come find me?" Su Mei could no longer control her emotions and questioned the man in front of her with a choked voice.
"I just arrived; I was planning to go to your company to see you and then leave, but I didn't expect..." Lin Chengdong's eyes were downcast, like a child who had done something wrong.
Su Mei didn't respond, just like three years ago, she grabbed Lin Chengdong's arm and walked out.
...
"How long are you planning to stay this time?" Su Mei played with the spoon in her hand, stirring the beautifully crafted latte art into a mess.
"If all goes well, I should be settled down. I've found a job here, but it's quite far from your company."
"How long do you plan to avoid me?"
Lin Chengdong turned his head to the side, not daring to look at Su Mei.
"Why won't you look at me? Do you think I'm ugly?" Su Mei's eyes turned red, biting her lip.
"If only I weren't sick, I would be with you without hesitation. But there are no 'ifs,' and I know what death looks like."
"You've never died."
"But I just know." Lin Chengdong suddenly choked up.
The two fell silent for a moment, and Su Mei gently grasped Lin Chengdong's hand, looking into his eyes, speaking each word clearly:
"Illness can gradually get better, but the person I like, I really can't bear to wait too long."
...
"What is it that's so mysterious?" Su Mei teased.
"Ah, you'll find out in a moment." Lin Chengdong placed a property deed on the table, "Alright, you can open your eyes now."
Seeing the scene before her, Su Mei was momentarily at a loss, "What is this?"
"I took all the money I've saved over the past twenty years, plus the money my parents left me to buy a house, and bought you a place. This way, even if I really leave one day, you won't suffer too much. And don't worry, I bought it outright, no mortgage." As Lin Chengdong spoke, he pulled out a key, "It's at Green Forest Garden, Building 5, Room 801. I've already thought about it; I want to leave a space specifically for the shoes you buy for me, and..."
Su Mei looked at Lin Chengdong in front of her, her heart filled with bitterness.
...
"Su, can you come to the hospital?" Lin's mother's voice on the phone was filled with exhaustion.
A very bad premonition rose in Su Mei's heart, and her breathing quickened. She quickly took a taxi to the hospital. The red indicator light on the operating room door was lit, and Lin's father, mother, and some other relatives were sitting on the long bench in the corridor.
"Su, you're here; Dongdong..." Lin's mother came up to her, took Su Mei's hand, but could no longer suppress her sadness, tears streaming down her face.
"It's okay, Auntie; he will be fine. I believe in him; he has always been lucky." Su Mei gritted her teeth, her eyes red.
...
"Who is the patient's family member? Please sign the critical condition notice."
...
"I'm sorry; we did our best."
...
"Time of death: 10:35 PM, December 17."
Lin Chengdong couldn't cross this hurdle and closed his eyes in the cold December night. Su Mei, with her eyes swollen from crying, took a small leather notebook from Lin's mother's hand.
"Dongdong said that if he leaves, he hopes you can help him cross off the last item and then burn it for him."
Su Mei sat on the bench in the corridor, flipping through the pages one by one:
......
Score 100 on an exam √
Participate in a sports meet √
Ride a roller coaster √
Take a plane √
......
Get into university √
Have a romantic relationship √
Buy a house √
......
Marry Su Mei
.....
Outside the operating room, the doctor handed a slightly yellowed photo to Lin's father, slowly saying, "He was a good kid."
Lin's father took the photo, which depicted two boys who looked quite alike, taken when Lin Chengdong was ten years old. On the back of the photo, there was a line written:
"Brother, I might not be able to live for you; please don't blame me."